You tell 'em girl! No unicorn, no Shakira!

imaj: Lolebrity
sorse: JustJared

Workers! To the barricades! We must support the struggles of celebrities for their equal rights! And why, after all, should Shakira have to go without a unicorn when Mariah has one? Oh, the injustice! It wounds! I bleed…

imaj: Clay Larson

Sooo, rather than go through all the best gossip sites on the web twice in one day, I thought I’d be lazy and just copy and paste in the links I wrote for Ayyyy, especially because today I was really clever and went with a theme and I’m so, so very proud of myself. So, without further ado, here are your unspeakably hot gossip links for Wednesday. You’ll need a drink to cool you down!

The yummy-sounding Quiet but Quick cocktail (1001Cocktails)

Siskel shushes Ebert (Movieline)

M is for Muffle It, Heidi (AgentBedhead)

Shut Your Mouth! Elijah Wood is 29 (AmyGrindhouse)

Mad Man murdered by silence (BusyBeeBlogger)

Ben wants Jen to STFU (CeleBitchy)

Cows take Kiefer for a ride (PopEater)

Tina Turner is HOW old? Shut up! (CelebritySmack)

Say What? (DailyStab)

Monjack seeks to gag WarnerBrothers (DListed)

Amy Winehouse erases Blake (HolyMoly)

Things Jennifer Aniston DIDN’T say (PopBytes)

Denise Van Outen speaks in code (UKPopSugar)

Mariah’s dress covers her hidden charms (CityRag)

Hugh Jackman speaks! (LitelySalted)

Diddy did? I’m speechless (LaughingStork)

Clare Danes speaks for the autistic (INeedMyFix)

Pete Doherty continues to be unspeakable (CrazyDays&Nights)

Jay Leno hasn’t spoken to Conan (EvilBeet)

Ugly Betty silenced (GabbyBabble)

Alicia Keys has no comment (INO)

NBC slides Conan some hush money? (JustJared)

Zelda Rubenstein has gone dark (Movieline)

Jon Voight wants you to STFU HATERZ (PerezHilton)

Mariah shouldn’t talk! (ASL)

Lance Bass is quietly emo (TenGossip)

Chris Matthews puts his foot in his mouth (Gawker)