Lindsay Lohan is tanned, rested and ready for the postman

imaj: Val via mattchew03

Honestly, she looks like he’s run her bell a few times already. I can’t really snark on this one too much, because actually I love that song. #secretemo

The stories that came out when she was filming the video were the first ones to really stop me and make me think, “This girl is fucked up,” and the song itself is what first made me realize she was actually talented enough for that to be a shame.

Lindsay Lohan mugshot headshots

imaj: Lolebrity

sorse: GoldenFiddle via cvxn:whatevs

Oh, Lindsay, this really is a mug’s game. I know correlation does not equal causation, but all the same, just look what happens every time you go blonde! I’d stick with red if I were you: no redheaded mugshots, AND no roots when you get released!

And that face is not aging well, sweetheart. In the first picture you look like sweet, innocent Honey Wheeler from the Trixie Belden books, in the middle one, a second-string porn star, and in the third, you look like a thirty-five-year-old trailer park manager with a three-pack-a-day habit and a pit bull and currently-on-day-release boyfriend both called Spike. And probably related by blood.

Lindsay Lohan om nom nom nom

imaj: Lolebrity
sorse: mercurypdx: hoarr

Oh god, no WONDER Lindsay has such a hard time keeping staff! This isn’t gonna help with that “time out for good behavior” thing.

imaj: Lolebrity
sorse: Gawker

Poor Lindsay Lohan. It’s been rather an epic week for the poor coke fiend. All she wanted to do was fly to the south of France and get her party on and the silly judge insisted she come home and go to court! Like, as if! Lindsay was all, like, whatever. But she MUST have been high when she picked out a dress with built-in lizards.

Are you a celebrity/gossip blogger? Rather do drinks than links? Talk to me; I’m starting up a link service for people who’d like to outsource the chore (and be automatically included in link lists). Email raincoaster at gmail for details.

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Ian McKellen, Lord of the Blogs (TrueSlant)

Is “the Hustle” going to be an Olympic event? (Ayyyy)

PJs for all! (TheManolo)

Someday my prints will come (ManoloHome)

Sheer silliness (ManoloBrides)

Blind flood puppy update! (ManoloBig)

Celebrity Dad Faceoff! Hugh Jackman vs Stephen Moyer (TeenyManolo)

Inside John Malkovich’s head (AgentBedhead)

Kate Moss burgled! (AmyGrindhouse)

Porn model now porn actress (BricksAndStones)

Rock Out to Beat Cancer (BusyBeeBlogger)

Britney wigs out! (CeleBitchy)

Celebrity trade wars (CelebrityBeehive)

Jonas Brothers UNCAGED! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Butt Paris! (CelebritySmack)

Celebrity sex swapping (CityRag)

Rachel Bilson is a fembot? (CojoStyle)

Russell Brand, Elle of a guy (DailyStab)

Justin Bieber is a gift from god (EvilBeet)

Orange silicone creature frightens children (GabbyBabble)

JLo IS SATC (GoFugYourself)

Bono’s back! (HaveUHeard)

Padma dates down (INeedMyFix)

Don’t worry, Lindsay, this happens to everyone (IBBB)

James Franco goes ape (JustJared)

Cats get Lost (Movieline)

Jake Gyllenhaal brings teh sexay…to the front row? (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Lily Allen schlubs out (UKPopSugar)

Grace Jones, superhero! (PopBytes)

The hottest men on tv (SeriouslyOMG)

imaj: Lolebrity
sorse: DListed

I think Big Bird has had a little work done. In other news, I would kill for that jacket. Bet Johnny designed it himself; it does look like I imagine the inside of his head looks. I would wear it to the grocery store in Chinatown and all the little old ladies would go WILD talking about the crazy blonde white girl in the hundred dead birds.

By the way: are you a celebrity/gossip blogger? Rather do drinks than links? Talk to me; I’m starting up a link service for people who’d like to outsource the chore (and be automatically included in link lists). $100 a month gets you a list of links three times a week, minimum 10 links to different blogs. More links, or more frequently, more money, obviously. Every blog that buys into the monthly link service is automatically included in the links, of course, and the more blogs that buy the service the more powerful in terms of Googlejuice and visibility each link will be. Completely custom link lists are also available, but if I’m going to spend two hours looking for links already day in and day out, you’re gonna hafta make it worth my while. Send Viggo with cash.

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Ballsy! (Ayyyy)

It’s baaaaaack! (Manolo)

Ray Bradbury, interior decorator (ManoloHome)

Calling opinionated brides (ManoloBrides)

Suck it, Australia! (ManoloBig)

I hope they weren’t used! (TeenyManolo)

Manorexia’s poster boys (AgentBedhead)

Stop the presses: Tila Tequila is dumb???? (AllieIsWired)

Justin Bieber is black (AmyGrindhouse)

Stop the presses: Megan Fox is dumb???? (BricksAndStones)

John Travolta and Kelly Preston replace purse dogs with baby (BusyBeeBlogger)

Wait, Megan Fox really IS dumb (CeleBitchy)

The incredible, buoyant boobies! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

How today’s stars will age (MSNBC)

Dame Elizabeth: Cowboy boots, muumuu, and a king’s ransom in gems (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Stop the presses: Lindsay Lohan’s parole officer is dumb???? (CelebritySmack)

Stop the presses: Bristol Palin’s clients are dumb??? (CelebVIPLounge)

Six Degrees of STDs (CityRag)

Woody Allen’s threesome (CojoStyle)

We nose, NeNe! (Crunk&Disorderly)

Jennifer Aniston has rhinoplasty by photoshop (DailyStab)

Queen of the prom…in San Quentin, in about two months (DListed)

Don’t let her near the diamonds! (Lainey)

This man is my HERO! (EvilBeet)

Stop the presses: Eliza Dushku fans are dumb??? (GabbyBabble)

Stop the presses: Kennedys DRINK??? (Gawker)

Diaper jodhpurs are NEVER a good idea (GoFugYourself)

Red Carpet Slideshow (HaveUHeard)

Prince of Pers- oooooh, sorry, what was I saying? (INeedMyFix)

Hamlet was bulimic? (IBBB)

Ryan Gosling’s blue movie (JustJared)

Edgar Allan Poe’s had a little work done (LitelySalted)

Who you gonna call? (MovieLine)

Johnny Depp in your face! (PerezHilton)

Kylie is magic (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Robert Pattinson on Ellen??? (UKPopSugar)

Marion Cotillard has a sackful of mystery (PopBytes)

Lindsay will have to pull a Polanski (Radar)

Jake is trying to get my attention (SeriouslyOMG)

Ryan Reynolds wears the ugliest superhero costume of all time (TenGossip)