Mister One Percent

imaj: DLISTED

There’s one (percent) in every crowd. Still, it’s nice and inclusive of the Occupy movement to welcome even the palpably delusional. What are they putting in the peyote these days?

Honey, in your business you're better off not bothering to learn

imaj: Lolebrity
sorse: FuckYeahHollywoodCelebrities

Poor Lindz. Confront her with anything more structured than leggings and she becomes hopelessly confused. A stylist once kept a violent, hungover Lohan at bay in a corner of Chanel for two hours just by waving a pantsuit from the 2008 line at her until the intervention team arrived.

Michael Jackson gave me the BEST present (raincoaster)

Who wore it better: a Gareth Pugh model or Godzilla (Ayyyy)

Frank Sinatra vs some pasty vegan (ManoloFood)

Katy Perry won’t admit she has a problem (Lolebrity)

This part is so radioactive they may have to hire Lindsay Lohan (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse was once more ambitious than you (AmyGrindhouse)

RPattz pub candid! (TheBosh)

Reece Witherspoon ups the ante with her exes (BusyBeeBlogger)

This will not end well: fag vs hag (CeleBitchy)

Nicole Richie is no Lilo, yo! (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Times Square is a Snooki-free zone (CelebritySmack)

Xtina has reXamined her approach to FARDS (CityRag)

No Doubt McCartney was thrilled to the core of his being (DailyStab)

Lock up your sperm! It’s time for Dancing with the Professional Uterus (Earsucker)

This has to be the best headline I have seen in WEEKS (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Archie Leach is appalled at this! (HaveUHeard)

Kelly Osbourne is OUT of control (INeedMyFix)

Kate Moss tiptoes her way out of modeling (JustJared)

A Charlie Sheen Christmas (PopBytes)

Coolest Hogwartian casts spell on Disney World (PerezHilton)

Kate Gosselin escapes to Australia to shoot her children (Radar)

Best-dressed heads of state (Styleite)

Where's Lindsay? Just look for Samantha, duh!

imaj: WWIAO

Where’s Lindsay? Wherever Samantha Ronson is, obviously. Just look for the skinny hipster that looks like she’s about to shiv you.

Stick it to zombies with this bedtime story for grownups (raincoaster)
Does Sharon Stone bathe in virgin’s blood? (Ayyyy)
Sarah Jessica Parker reeks of the open grave (Lolebrity)
I’m going as this spicy hot stuff for Halloween (ManoloFood)
Welcome your weekend of horror (CelebrityBeehive)
Lindsay Lohan to be saved from fate as flesh-eating monster (AgentBedhead)
Well, that’s ONE way to get a vampire’s attention (BusyBeeBlogger)
Can one of these heros save us? (CeleBitchy)
The sex tape rumour that Will! Not! Die! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Every Day is Halloween! (CelebritySmack)
Celebrity Halloween treats (CityRag)
I’m sorry, Anne Hathaway, but this is horrifying (CojoStyle)
Kim Kardashian makes the punchlines too easy (DailyStab)
Elizabeth Hasselbeck is not long for this world (DListed)
Damien? (Earsucker)
Hideous corpse walks the Earth, needs pants (EvilBeet)
The year they cancelled Halloween (fourfour)
Zombie Justice for Anna Nicole Smith (GabbyBabble)
The Story That Will Not Die continues (GirlsTalkinSmack)
The Shoes That Will Not Die rise again (HaveUHeard)
Unspeakable golem creature forces human into servitude (INeedMyFix)
Jude Law vs Cthulhu! (JustJared)
The Halloween Hater’s guide (Movieline)
Emma Roberts calls for help! (PerezHilton)
Elusive creature sighted (PoorBritney)

Pee-Wee Herman in New James Bond

imaj: Lolebrity
sorse: Pee-Wee Herman

I happen to think Pee-Wee Herman would make a great James Bond, sort of the way David Niven and Woody Allen made great James Bonds in the first filmed version of Casino Royale; which is to say, a James Bond best enjoyed in the company of a half a bottle of something 80 proof. Perhaps, in this case, a heavily-spiked Shirley Temple would be appropriate.

Happy Canadian Thanksgiving! (raincoaster)
Friday Caption Contest: Shadow of a Superstar (Ayyyy)
Katherine Heigl gets the new Colonic Facial (CelebrityBeehive)
Fresh, free-range Hamm (Gawker)
War Dog of the Week (Warning: sappy) (ForeignPolicy)
That’s no lady! (AgentBedhead)
Two minutes and thirty-nine seconds with James Franco (AmyGrindhouse)
Dolph Lundgren is just asking for it (BusyBeeBlogger)
Dora the Explorer on the rocks (CeleBitchy)
Lindsay Lohan is not such a twit anymore (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Kim Kardashian’s snack tray holds a drink (CelebritySmack)
Britney weaned the kids off Cosmos (CityRag)
Cojo vs Ronald McDonald (CojoStyle)
Amy Winehouse crashes a lap (CrazyDaysAndNights)
Wino has “something” up her nose (INeedMyFix)
I SAID, Pull up yo damn pants! (Crunk&Disorderly)
Awww, I bet on Aeschylus (DailyStab)
Sienna Miller loves dressing up in Grandma’s outfits (DListed)
Is Renee Zellweger Bridget Jones or Jennifer Aniston? (EvilBeet)
Gooooood morning, Republicans! (HaveUHeard)
Snooki is a lobster racist! (IBBB)
80′s cartoon trivia quiz (LitelySalted)
Grover stars in new Old Spice campaign (MovieLine)
Amy Winehouse’s Taxi Driver (PerezHilton)
Weird celebrity fetish news (SeriouslyOMG)
Creepy celebrity dolls (ASL)

Related articles

• Foursquare counting on … Pee-wee Herman (adweek.blogs.com)

Lindsay Lohan confessions of an ETERNALLY teenage drama queen

imaj: WorstFuckingIdeas

Teenage? If Lindsay Lohan makes it to 40, she’ll still be exactly the same, no matter how many country club rehabs she attends. And you and I both know she’ll never do Robert Downey Junior time, even though her crimes are worse. Her liver must surely resemble Liza Minnelli’s by now, or the surface of the moon. Then again, she IS Irish, so she’s probably got a spare tucked away in there somewhere.