Vancouver Riot Couple Make Out Not War

imaj: Lolebrity although we stole the joke from MissManifesto
sorse: Richard Lam at Getty via TheAtlantic

Now THAT is the Vancouver I know! Between this and Kimli’s immortal sculpture “Vancouver Riots in Lego” I think we’ve pretty much redeemed ourselves, don’t you?

PS: it’s a meme. You know what to do.

This is my fave:

Vangroover Couple at Tiannenmen Square which I have probably misspelled

Vaughn Down Thirteen to Go

imaj: Lolebrity
sorse: GoCanucksGo

The poor guy. Maybe he should go watch an Owen Wilson movie or something? DEFINITELY he should stop watching his team being crushed by the invincible juggernaut that is my team. Yeah, he should just stay out of the arena for, oh, say, for the rest of the playoffs!

Haters gonna hate Canucks

imaj: GoCanucksGo, again

Now that we’ve had a rare athletic moment here on Lolebrity, let’s get back to making fun of dopey celebutards, as we usually do. But first, you’ll need a bracing beverage, so see the first link for everything you always wanted to know about Martini glasses but were afraid to ask.

Tee Many Martoonis (ManoloFood)

Spa No Go? Oh. (raincoaster)

Marilyn Monroe conquers the world! (Ayyyy)

Is this how the Spears family started? (Lolebrity)

Tom Cruise sees red (AgentBedhead)

And it turns out he’s not even related to Viggo! (BusyBeeBlogger)

Evan Rachel Wood lives up to his name (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Vanessa Hudgens in tampon chain fashion tragedy (CelebritySmack)

And then Trump asked for its birth certificate (CelebVIPLounge)

Joey Ramone lives on. On white trash (CityRag)

NPH has double trouble (DailyStab)

How many celebutards does it take to dance on the head of a mushroom? (DippedInCream)

Oh, Aniston, it’s SO mutual (EarSucker)

Mike Tyson is serious about this yoga thing, too (FitFabCeleb)

Elizabeth Hurley will never age. STOP IT ALREADY, BITCH! (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Let me get this straight…If you sleep under Miley Cyrus’ armpits, you will never have nightmares? (HaveUHeard)

JSimp wigs out (HollywoodHiccups)

Shack up with Glee! (INeedMyFix)

Royal Wedding rehearsal shocker! (MathewGuiver)

Nicki Minaj drops the dildo for Britney (PoorBritney)

Fergie drops the “D-List Bomb” on the TSA (PopBytes)

Huh? Seriously? Kirstie Alley was onstage at the same time? (Swoonworthy)

Miley Cyrus appears to have a shin cellulite problem??? (TheSkinny)

Gary Roberts gets The manliest penalty ever

Imaj: TSN on Facebook

So he’s a Man’s Man, eh? He must live on Tiger Blood and Axe. How long till the Old Spice commercial?

Paul the Psychic Octopus soon to seek UN protection

imaj: lolebrity well, I only collaged them akshuly

sorse: Upper: mattchew03, Lower fuckyeahoctopus:misschanandlerbong: iwantcupcakes: fuckyeahfunnythings: maybeimdreaming: sleazytiger: mrgiggles: justanothertuesday: target-neutralized: ant0ni0: out-gayed-myself: electromovimiento: seewhatyouwant: tejemaneje: (via paintwall)

Poor Paul; he only wanted to use his powers for good, and now look at him. Also see: that poor kid in The Rocking Horse Winner. Yeah, that didn’t turn out so well either.

Are you a celebrity blogger who’d rather drink than link (and wouldn’t we all?) email me at raincoaster at gmail:
I’m starting a linking service to do your work for you! And I’m working on an ad network to launch in the fall.

And now, to your psychically enhanced gossip links (“psychically?” Seriously? You spell it like that? Okay, Mozilla, whatever you say):

Friday Caption Contest: La Cage aux Fashion Edition (Ayyyy)
Celebutweet of the day: Mel Gibson (TrueSlant)
Don’t stop till you’ve got enough (raincoaster)
The magical healing power of shoes! (ShoeBlogs)
Not exactly the Dove of Peace (ManoloBig)
Celebrity Dad Faceoff: Bale vs Day Lewis
The sweet smell of Success! (ManoloMen)
George Carlin was prescient (ManoloFood)
Reincarnating furniture (ManoloHome)
If Donnie Darko had lived, this would have been his wedding cake (ManoloBrides)
Kim Cattrall’s dream comes true (BusyBeeBlogger)
Vampires crushed by super-villain (CeleBitchy)
Switzerland is NO place for a family vacation! (CelebDirtyLaundry)
Pro-Am pornstar challenge! (CelebritySmack)
Brad Pitt once again beautiful beyond the lot of mortals (DListed)
The most mind-boggling piece of clothing in the history of the world (FourFour)
The Dream is over for Christina Milian (GabbyBabble)
Angelina defends her celebucub fashionista (HaveUHeard)
Pamela Anderson is going back in time! (EvilBeet)
Cindy Crawford is not mortal! (INeedMyFix)
But Betty White IS a god! (Movieline)
Prince Harry’s ex downgrades to reality tv (UKPopSugar)
How can you be so messed up you get fired from being a rehab patient? (PopBytes)
The King and Queen of America (SeriouslyOMG)
Who got cheated on the Emmy Nominations? (SquareEyes)

imaj: Lolebrity
sorse: DListed

I think Big Bird has had a little work done. In other news, I would kill for that jacket. Bet Johnny designed it himself; it does look like I imagine the inside of his head looks. I would wear it to the grocery store in Chinatown and all the little old ladies would go WILD talking about the crazy blonde white girl in the hundred dead birds.

By the way: are you a celebrity/gossip blogger? Rather do drinks than links? Talk to me; I’m starting up a link service for people who’d like to outsource the chore (and be automatically included in link lists). $100 a month gets you a list of links three times a week, minimum 10 links to different blogs. More links, or more frequently, more money, obviously. Every blog that buys into the monthly link service is automatically included in the links, of course, and the more blogs that buy the service the more powerful in terms of Googlejuice and visibility each link will be. Completely custom link lists are also available, but if I’m going to spend two hours looking for links already day in and day out, you’re gonna hafta make it worth my while. Send Viggo with cash.

Add to: Facebook | Digg | Del.icio.us | Stumbleupon | Reddit | Blinklist | Twitter | Technorati | Yahoo Buzz | Newsvine

Ballsy! (Ayyyy)

It’s baaaaaack! (Manolo)

Ray Bradbury, interior decorator (ManoloHome)

Calling opinionated brides (ManoloBrides)

Suck it, Australia! (ManoloBig)

I hope they weren’t used! (TeenyManolo)

Manorexia’s poster boys (AgentBedhead)

Stop the presses: Tila Tequila is dumb???? (AllieIsWired)

Justin Bieber is black (AmyGrindhouse)

Stop the presses: Megan Fox is dumb???? (BricksAndStones)

John Travolta and Kelly Preston replace purse dogs with baby (BusyBeeBlogger)

Wait, Megan Fox really IS dumb (CeleBitchy)

The incredible, buoyant boobies! (CelebrityCosmeticSurgery)

How today’s stars will age (MSNBC)

Dame Elizabeth: Cowboy boots, muumuu, and a king’s ransom in gems (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Stop the presses: Lindsay Lohan’s parole officer is dumb???? (CelebritySmack)

Stop the presses: Bristol Palin’s clients are dumb??? (CelebVIPLounge)

Six Degrees of STDs (CityRag)

Woody Allen’s threesome (CojoStyle)

We nose, NeNe! (Crunk&Disorderly)

Jennifer Aniston has rhinoplasty by photoshop (DailyStab)

Queen of the prom…in San Quentin, in about two months (DListed)

Don’t let her near the diamonds! (Lainey)

This man is my HERO! (EvilBeet)

Stop the presses: Eliza Dushku fans are dumb??? (GabbyBabble)

Stop the presses: Kennedys DRINK??? (Gawker)

Diaper jodhpurs are NEVER a good idea (GoFugYourself)

Red Carpet Slideshow (HaveUHeard)

Prince of Pers- oooooh, sorry, what was I saying? (INeedMyFix)

Hamlet was bulimic? (IBBB)

Ryan Gosling’s blue movie (JustJared)

Edgar Allan Poe’s had a little work done (LitelySalted)

Who you gonna call? (MovieLine)

Johnny Depp in your face! (PerezHilton)

Kylie is magic (PinkIsTheNewBlog)

Robert Pattinson on Ellen??? (UKPopSugar)

Marion Cotillard has a sackful of mystery (PopBytes)

Lindsay will have to pull a Polanski (Radar)

Jake is trying to get my attention (SeriouslyOMG)

Ryan Reynolds wears the ugliest superhero costume of all time (TenGossip)