I'd take a bite of that

imaj: Lolebrity
sorse: raincoaster

Steve, baby, I already do. TRUST.

In related news, someone at the Apple store in NYC is running around impersonating Steve Jobs. And THAT, my friends, is a brave man.

It’s all connected. One Nation Under Steve (oh please oh please oh where was I?)

Hippies, mushrooms, social workers, and hockey. Of COURSE this is a story from BC. Bring your short attention span and leave your patchouli back in the Mystery Machine, man. (raincoaster)

A just god would not allow this. She’s Suri. But not Suri enough for this abomination. (Ayyyy)

My Drunk Kitchen isn’t nearly drunk enough for THIS unspeakable thing. And when your cooking show needs a safety spotter, you seriously need to rethink this concept. (ManoloFood)

Batman! Thank god you’ve arrived! That’s Iraq solved, then! (Lolebrity)

Real news is what happens when God isn’t looking. Or is that G-D? But it happened this morning. (Crasstalk)

Courtney Love and Adnan Khashoggi sitting in a tree…no seriously, she’s trying to make this happen. Are we totally sure there’s a drug she hasn’t tried yet? Because she still appears to be on all of them simultaneously. (AgentBedhead)

ZOMBIES! And I ain’t talking cocktails! Zombies rule (until Animals came along…) (BusyBeeBlogger)

A million Twihards just came. RPattz is looking for a lifemate. Helpmeet. Mate. You just fainted again, didn’t you? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Cheryl Cole not ready for US prime time. No. Shit. Dude. (CelebritySmack)

Lady Gaga, I knew God. God was a friend of mine. You. Are no God. (CelebVIPLounge)

I got no farther than the concept of milking the Green Lantern before I had to take a bit of “me time” if you know what I mean and I think you do. (DailyStab)

Kim Kardashian already working on KKK? A just god would not allow this. Steve? Steve, baby? (EarSucker)

Lindsay Lohan flashes the plastic. I’m sorry, right. Even her VISA card is natural. (FitFabCeleb)

Peace out, dudes. No, seriously, peace out. Right outta my life. (GirlsTalkinSmack)

My OTHER imaginary boyfriend was on American Idol? Why, Steve and Julian will be so jealous! (HaveUHeard)

Bridesmaids outtakes. If we’re lucky this includes Jon Hamm P-slips. (HollywoodHiccups)

More proof the Gouvernator is no Kennedy. I’m sorry, but that’s no Marilyn Monroe, my friends. (INeedMyFix)

Jack Black, nekkid as a jaybird in front of the TSA. What would you give for an unobstructed view? (MathiewGuiver)

Okay, NOW I know who Shemar Moore is. And believe me, I won’t forget any time soon. (Swoonworthy)

Breaking Dawn breaking poster. This is news? Come on, Prince Hot Ginge, give us something newsworthy! (TheSkinnyChic)

Hail Cthulhu! Cthulhu Uber Alles!

imaj: Lolebrity
sorse: Buzzsugar

Golly, Jake, that doesn’t sound like Swedish! In related news: only geeks will get this one. If you want a quick cinematic introduction to the twisted genius of Howard Philips Lovecraft, check out In the Mouth of Madness, which features the always sexy Sam Neill as the poor, doomed sap (think “self-aware Star Trek Red Shirt”). Some choice quotes:

Linda Styles: A reality is just what we tell each other it is.

Sutter Cane: I think, therefore you are.

Simon: [about to commit suicide] I have to, he wrote me this way.

John Trent: God’s not supposed to be a hack horror writer.

and, most relevant of all:

John Trent: Oh, Jesus, this place makes my head hurt.

And now for a little musical interlude: Hey There, Cthulhu!

imaj: Lolebrity
sorse: Peter Kramer/AP for the Telegraph at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party

Still no word on whether Graydon wore his famous Black Watch PJ pants again.

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imaj: Lolthulhu

background: The Complete Works of Howard Phillips Lovecraft Online and Cthulhupalooza! So there, bytchez!