The Vampire Lestat has some questions for his English teacher

imaj: InTheDarkConfessional via ConeSoldStober

Exqueeze me, Lestat, but Louis is an aristocrat. He doesn’t read paperbacks, you tacky moron.

and when you add the compound interest, you're looking at three years in Gitmo

imaj: Lolebrity
sorse: commenter File in the JulianAssangeFanciersGuild

You do NOT want to mess with the British Librarian Corps, dude. You’re in enough trouble already.

PS used the second font because it looks rather like his actual handwriting. It’s called “Daniel” by the way, but I estimate we have about five weeks to wait till the fangirl force has tapped its Underemployed Graphic Designer contingent and come up with a “Julian” font of their very own.

Countess Arianna vs Tina Brown. This time she may have bitten off more than she can chew.

imaj: Lolebrity
sorse: Gawker

I love how Tina Brown is easily keeping her vicious fangs at bay with an upraised hand and the whispered Words Of Power:

“Si always liked me best.”

Hunter S Thompson vs Charlie Sheen

imaj: JakeFogelnest

The thing about Hunter S. Thompson is that he took all of that and still came up with his own original words. Never forget that while you’re patting yourself on the back for standing upright and parroting lines, Meat Puppet!

I'd take a bite of that

imaj: Lolebrity
sorse: raincoaster

Steve, baby, I already do. TRUST.

In related news, someone at the Apple store in NYC is running around impersonating Steve Jobs. And THAT, my friends, is a brave man.

It’s all connected. One Nation Under Steve (oh please oh please oh where was I?)

Hippies, mushrooms, social workers, and hockey. Of COURSE this is a story from BC. Bring your short attention span and leave your patchouli back in the Mystery Machine, man. (raincoaster)

A just god would not allow this. She’s Suri. But not Suri enough for this abomination. (Ayyyy)

My Drunk Kitchen isn’t nearly drunk enough for THIS unspeakable thing. And when your cooking show needs a safety spotter, you seriously need to rethink this concept. (ManoloFood)

Batman! Thank god you’ve arrived! That’s Iraq solved, then! (Lolebrity)

Real news is what happens when God isn’t looking. Or is that G-D? But it happened this morning. (Crasstalk)

Courtney Love and Adnan Khashoggi sitting in a tree…no seriously, she’s trying to make this happen. Are we totally sure there’s a drug she hasn’t tried yet? Because she still appears to be on all of them simultaneously. (AgentBedhead)

ZOMBIES! And I ain’t talking cocktails! Zombies rule (until Animals came along…) (BusyBeeBlogger)

A million Twihards just came. RPattz is looking for a lifemate. Helpmeet. Mate. You just fainted again, didn’t you? (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Cheryl Cole not ready for US prime time. No. Shit. Dude. (CelebritySmack)

Lady Gaga, I knew God. God was a friend of mine. You. Are no God. (CelebVIPLounge)

I got no farther than the concept of milking the Green Lantern before I had to take a bit of “me time” if you know what I mean and I think you do. (DailyStab)

Kim Kardashian already working on KKK? A just god would not allow this. Steve? Steve, baby? (EarSucker)

Lindsay Lohan flashes the plastic. I’m sorry, right. Even her VISA card is natural. (FitFabCeleb)

Peace out, dudes. No, seriously, peace out. Right outta my life. (GirlsTalkinSmack)

My OTHER imaginary boyfriend was on American Idol? Why, Steve and Julian will be so jealous! (HaveUHeard)

Bridesmaids outtakes. If we’re lucky this includes Jon Hamm P-slips. (HollywoodHiccups)

More proof the Gouvernator is no Kennedy. I’m sorry, but that’s no Marilyn Monroe, my friends. (INeedMyFix)

Jack Black, nekkid as a jaybird in front of the TSA. What would you give for an unobstructed view? (MathiewGuiver)

Okay, NOW I know who Shemar Moore is. And believe me, I won’t forget any time soon. (Swoonworthy)

Breaking Dawn breaking poster. This is news? Come on, Prince Hot Ginge, give us something newsworthy! (TheSkinnyChic)